Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Be still, my beating vagina.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
