i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
