I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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