I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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