Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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