I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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