went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I want is dick and wine.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
