If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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