I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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