epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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