This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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