I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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