her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together