Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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