I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator