If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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