i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
