I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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