you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
