i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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