Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
