i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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