Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it's like iHOP with fire
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
