The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize