It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
