sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
