I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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