my mouth tastes like poor choices
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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