grandma shit on top of the toilet
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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