Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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