Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
