Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
