We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Found the puke drawer
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
