did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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