I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
