3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize