the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
