I want to make a zoo with you.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
