Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
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For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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