D3 body, D1 cock
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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