It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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