I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think my fart just growled at me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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