1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
