He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
