I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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