He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize