I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize