Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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