spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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