if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Bring me that man meat
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
