I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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