i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
