tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
