she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Randomize
