I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
