um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
