Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
