We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
