For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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